Dear Copyright Office,
I am writing to you because I am attempting to copyright something, but after looking at your website, and seeing the myriad of forms available for download, I am a bit confused on which one to fill out for my request.
You see, I have never enjoyed writing. Especially my signature. Over the years, my signature has transmogrified from a fairly legible “Cilluffo” to the now-familiar “C” inside a circle (not unlike the copyright symbol).
As I have noticed that this copyright symbol seems to be commonly used, and is almost identical to my signature, I am afraid that works with this symbol will be confused as being originated by me personally, and this could result in many misunderstandings, no matter how well-intentioned.
That is why I am writing to you, friends. I would like to copyright the © symbol, to prevent any future misunderstandings. I feel that when I own the intellectual rights to this symbol, people will be a little less liberal in their use of it–plus, they’ll have to pay me.
Please send me the appropriate forms so that we can get the ball rolling, so to speak
David M. ©
Your signature is not copyrightable, nor is a familiar symbol.
U.S. Copyright Office
Library of Congress
Washington DC 20559
202/707-3000 public information
202/707-9100 forms online