Dear American Bar Association,
Ever since the age of 5, and my mother’s 6th divorce, I knew that I wanted to be a lawyer. Unfortunately, we had a very large family (9 children under the age of 8) which can get quite expensive, as I’m sure you understand, so I was unable to attend our fine community college here.
But many years have gone by, and I am making a comfortable living as an exterminator’s assistant, and I believe it is finally time to realize my dream–becoming a lawyer!
As I would have to keep my job (I have 9 kids from 7 marriages to feed) I was hoping that I could enroll in one of your correspondence courses. I believe that it would be easier if I could get my law degree from the comfort of my own home. And, if I may be immodest for a moment, I am quite an accomplished reader, so I could probably finish the course within 6 months or so.
Please send me the first lesson of the course to the below address and let me know how you would like me to pay for it. (Do you accept Shell gas cards?)
Dreaming of litigation,
David M. Cilluffo (<–good lawyer name)
I congratulate you on your decision to become a lawyer, however, the ABA does not handle correspondence courses for law degrees. What I would suggest is that you contact the State of California, Office of Admissions at 555 Franklin Street, San Francisco, CA 94102; telephone number 415/561-8303; WEB: www.calbar.org. They may be able to help you with a correspondence course. Good luck!
Dear State Bar of California,
I can’t begin to tell you how much law means to me. I guess I could be considered a “law junkie” [meaning a person who has an “addiction” to law].
I was conversing with a good friend of mine, Sherry Gouwens (of the American Bar Association) the other day, and I mentioned to her that I thought it was time I became a lawyer, but I couldn’t afford to go to college (9 kids + 7 marriages = BILLS, my friend!).
Well, Sherry (who has always been one for resourcefulness) told me about your correspondence courses! When I heard that I could become a lawyer in less than 6 months from the comfort of my home, I was overjoyed! I said to Sherry, “this can’t be real,” but she assured me it was!
I want to thank you in advance for allowing me to live my dream! You have truly turned my life around!
Please send me my first lesson, and let me know how you would like me to pay for it:
David M. Cilluffo (<–soon to be lawyer!)