Chiquita Banana

Dear Banana Experts,

If there are two things I love in this world, they are bananas and Cheerios. Every morning, without fail, I sit down and read the newspaper, eat my Cheerios (they’re low in fat), and eat a delicious Chiquita banana (in that order). It gives me the perfect breakfast to ensure I have enough energy to make it through the day.

However, my tale turns into one of woe: This morning, I overslept, and was unable to get my seven children (Chuck, Jerry, Larry, Sandy, Soda, Jennifer, and Chocula) up in time to catch the school bus. I certainly couldn’t let them skip school, as the judge said he wouldn’t go easy on me the next time. So, I packed them in my minivan and drove them to school. Upon my return, I realized that I would not have time to sit down and enjoy my breakfast and still make it to work on time (I’m an exterminator’s assistant). While devouring my Cheerios and preparing to eat a delicious Chiquita banana, I suddenly thought to myself, it would be much quicker if I ate the banana and the Cheerios together! I tried it, and boy, was it ever delicious!!! “I think I may be on to something,” I thought to myself. So I immediately took a sick day and sat down to write the people who know more about bananas than anyone else.

My proposal is this: why not market bananas as a delicious (and nutrious) additive for cereal? I know what you’re thinking: it’s so crazy it just might work. Think about it: I, by accident, discovered a breakfast combination that millions may soon come to enjoy. It’s only fair that I share this recipe with millions, if not billions worldwide.

As I love your company and the bananas it makes, I wouldn’t dream of asking for a cent for this discovery, although I think we both know I could justifiably ask for a LOT of money, my friends. Let me know what you plan to start running the advertisements, so I can have my VCR ready. In the meantime, I’ll start mixing bananas with other common foods so I can find other great taste combinations. Maybe bananas and bread? I will keep you informed of my progress.

Cheerios and bananas, two great tastes that taste great together (feel free to use that)

Going bananas,

David M. Cilluffo


Received a Chiquita Banana keychain!